Tired... just worn out

You know, it could be worse, but it could be better... the school year that is.

I have 18 students in my class, 15 special needs and 3 typical peers. I have 2 aides in my class but due to the large number I have, we are having to "borrow" 2 aides to help out. They help at different times during the day. We (my 2 original aides and I) are starting to feel the wear. Well, they've been feeling it sooner that I have. But now it is starting to catch up with me. I will be getting more special needs students soon. One in Oct., one probably late Oct/beginning Nov. and one in January when he turns 3. 18 Special needs students. You know. It is supposed to be 50/50 in my room. For each SPE student there is supposed to be a typical peer. CAN YOU IMAGINE MY ROOM with DOUBLE the kids in it? I think we'd all be bald from pulling our hair out! I hope we get some help of some kind SOON. I can't even remember if I wrote this kid's mom a note about whatever or that one a note about whatever else. I still have meetings I need to conduct along with others I've been conducting and you know, sometime or another I am supposed to be teaching, too. Imagine that... actually being able to teach. We have one with issues that seems to disrupt our main instruction time. He can't help it, but it really gets the other 14 SPE kids out of sorts at times.

I'm tired. I come home and I don't feel like doing squat. I go to bed at 9 if not earlier. I get up around 5 or 5:30 in the morning and just drag my butt out of bed. I get to work around 6:30 because my husband and I are carpooling in order to save gas money. I'm there until 3:30 because I watch the typical peers that can stay until 3:30. I'm tired. I can't sleep late on the weekends. Little Miss won't let me. Her behind is soooooooo hard to get up at 6AM during the week but by cracky, she can sure wake up easily and on her own at 6AM on Sat. morning!! NO JOKE!!! I can't tell you the last time I did get to sleep past 7 on the weekend. I'm tired. A couple of times I've gone to bed at 8:30. Very few times do I get to take a nap on the weekends. My husband can fall asleep if he just gets still laying on the couch. Most times if I were to doze off SOMEONE wakes me up in one way, shape or form... purposely or unintentional.

I can only take tylenol and sometimes that just doesn't make a dent in the achy muscles. Right now, my shoulders and back hurt from the tiredness and stress. I should be thankful that is all it is. A girl I went to school with would love for her pains to be just from stress and her job wearing her out. She has stage 4 cancer, a tumor on her back, cancer in several organs, on morphine for the pain, surgery cannot help. She'll have to go through chemo and radiation hoping it will help. I guess I should just stop complaining and be thankful I can get up and go to work in the mornings. But I'm still tired.